One year from today

May 2024

Hi Myself,

A year has passed, and I imagine so much has changed. How are you? I hope you’re doing well, achieving your goals, finding relief from what you missed, and enjoying your journey.

Time flies, as everyone knows, and moments shape our lives not as we wish, but as they are.

It all began when you came across an Instagram post with the captivating logo of Cambridge and the possibilities for continued study. You were drowning in the depths of an overloaded life, on the brink of losing yourself. You longed for a confidant, a safe space to voice your frustrations, like the confused boy in the fairy tale and tell to a dug-out that king has a pair donkey ears when whole country says nothing. Life didn’t give you that, but it offered you a blogging course. It taught you what and how to share.

Life offers us countless choices and experiences.

Choosing an international marriage was a bold step. You believed life is short and wanted to experience something different from your upbringing. You were aware of the potential conflicts with your roots. Like your psychologist said, “Even when plants are moved from one pot to another, they can wither without proper care, watering, and fertilizing.” Yet, you were brave enough to transplant a palm tree from a tropical coastline to the Alps. What kind of support would it need? Warm indoor climate? Salty water? A warm breeze? You got none of these in the past years. But your roots grew stronger in the Alpine soil. And this year, you started to grow. I’m so happy to see you survived it all.

Parenting was your dream, and you brought it to life years ago. As a woman, you believed this journey would connect you to yourself better than any other way. Indeed, your child gave you a chance to grow anew. You appreciate not only his company but also the fresh perspective he gives you on this limited life. You believe you need your child more than he needs you.

Life is a roller coaster. Your mind is like the ocean at Cape Horn—deep and unpredictable.

You try your best to remain calm for your child, but sometimes your voice rises uncontrollably. You try to read as much as you can, but exhaustion often lulls you to sleep before your child. Then he wakes you with, “Mum, weiter lesen bitte (Mum, please continue reading).” You go out in the rain and get wet feet with him, even though you hate being wet. You jump into the water despite your fear of its unpredictable depths. You even endure sleepless nights filled with tears and self-blame after raising your voice. But I want to tell you, you’re doing well. You are a good mum, just like every mum. You show your child a real, alive mum. You demonstrate the possibilities of life as much as you can. Remember when you asked yourself what kind of child you wanted to raise? You told yourself you wanted to raise a child with a sunny mind and a loving heart. And you promised to be his harbor as long as you live. You’re on track.

Last but not least, I want to tell you that you’re a very promising person. You’ve always wanted to start a blog to document this unrehearsed life. And here we are!. It is so precious that we made a promise to ourself and fulfilled it. Congratulations!

Listen to your heart. Write down ups and downs. As someone says, Listening is the best voice.

Yours,

Myself